Can You Have Love After a Break-up?

Break-ups are hard no matter how long the relationship lasts. Whether there was abuse within the relationship or not, it is still painful to separate from a person you spent intimate time with. Most people crave companionship and camaraderie to validate their good traits, to feel excepted by those around them, and boost their self-esteem. When rejection happens, one tends to question themselves, forgetting they are special even without a partner.

The loneliness and heartache of a break-up can be so strong that it encourages us to seek and find a new ‘love’ as fast as we can, but when you rush through the healing process, you may find yourself in a worse relationship than you were in before, causing more mental distress. Everyone heals at a different speed. Rushing the healing process can just lead to more heartache over time.

All humans have baggage that tends to be carried into our new relationships. Life experiences don’t just get forgotten, nor should they. Learning from these past experiences is how you know what you want and don’t want in the future. This does not mean new experiences in love are impossible. Doing the work to repack the bags helps to improve relationships in the future.

New relationships deserve you at your best self, just as you would want them to be for you. The only way to do this is to understand and love yourself first.

Here are some ways to learn how to love yourself again:

Therapy– Depending on why the relationship ended, seeking mental health professionals’ advice can help you from staying in a spiral of bad relationships. Group sessions can help you create new relationships with others going through the same as you. Both group and one-on-one therapy sit downs tend to teach techniques to help you through the healing process and how to move forward with life. Recognizing your part in the break-up can be more painful than the break-up itself. If anything, therapists are a non-bias, trained ear to hear your truth.
Declutter– Removing things that remind you of the relationship creates space in your life for the new to come. Get rid of the things you didn’t really like but kept it for them.
Spoil Yourself– Buy yourself something new, this doesn’t mean to go out and replace everything you decluttered. If you see something you want, buy it. No reason to ask permission.
Do the things you enjoy– This will only heal your heart and bring you joy.
Learn something new– Not only will learning something new or something you have always wanted to learn help you grow it will also bring new people into your environment.
Create– Creating things with your hands is very therapeutic. Crafting helps to keep your mind and hands busy, which in turn helps us from dwelling on negative thoughts. Seeing your creations afterwards can increase a sense of pride. Self-pride increases self-worth.
Take care of your physical wellness– Letting our physical health decrease during a break-up may cause more mental anguish. Physical activity helps produce balance in your hormones keeping depression at bay. It also increases your self-image.
Listen to your favorite songs– The soothing sounds of your favorite artists can drown out the loneliness. Create playlists that match your mood. Listen, dance, and sing your heart out regularly. Music is very mood regulating.
Learn your love language– When you know how you want to be loved, you then will know how to receive love from others. Knowing how you receive love best can help you understand how to love others the way they need to be loved. Utilize creative self-care methods to speak love to yourself in the language you understand best.
Tend to your spiritual health– A mindful practice that includes journaling, meditation, incense, and other healing experiments may just provide the new routine your life needs to feel stronger than you were in the relationship. Being strong alone will only raise your vibration to attract the correct relationships for you. (Don’t do shaddow work alone, its best to hire someone)

Giving yourself time to heal and love who you are again after a break-up is an important way to break toxic relationship cycles. Acknowledging your truth and feelings encourages growth within you. Doing the work on yourself is essential if you want something better than the last. Break-ups don’t have to be the end of you, in fact, they should be the beginning of you.

The NEW you.